Homeschooling: Reality and Expectations

I have been thinking this over for sometime as I have felt some frustrations and couldn't figure out exactly why. The more I think about it honestly I realize it is due to my expectations not matching up with reality. Mostly due to the fact that children are all individual and Luke is not me, shock I know. Although generally I have been well-pleased with our experience and his learning I still find there is plenty to improve upon for next year to make everything better for the both of us.

During the planning stages now I am trying to re-examine all those expectations I have and see if they are attainable or realistic...

Expectation...
Brian and I are both smart, naturally we are going to have a child genius.

Reality...
Um, no. Luke is appropriately adept in math and science type things but reading is challenging to him.

Expectation...
One day he will just start reading.

Reality...
We are working on this very slow and steady, there is progress, but it certainly isn't or hasn't been any kind of over night phenomenon.

Expectation...
Homeschooling means that all the children will be advanced because you teach them one on one. The level they are on just depends on what level you teach them.

Reality...
No. You cannot push a child to learn outside their ability or readiness. I had days and days before going over the same things with him, trying to get him to learn it, so frustrated that he couldn't and feeling like such a failure. Thank goodness for the internet and I can see that there is a range of when different kids learn various things. It is not a deficiency on my part or his, it is just who he is. Thank goodness I now have the confidence to know this and to let it go. I must work on his level.

Expectation...
Teaching would just come organically interest led.

Reality...
Well, we do learn some interest led but there is also planning and work involved to make that happen. Surprisingly I cannot instantly recall everything I have ever learned at the drop of a hat and magically pull it together into some big lesson.

Expectation...
Teaching would be easy. We would just open things up and go, no prep involved.

Reality...
I don't know what I was thinking here. There is time to research to pick out the right curriculum, that I enjoy teaching, fits his learning style and also his level. Deciding all that we want to study- what scope for science, for history. One subject a year for science or - is history chronological and then a 3 yr, 4 yr or 5 yr cycle? As I have yet to find a boxed curriculum that meets our need there is then the scheduling of everything, the history, science, literature and bible. Making copies of what needs to done gathering up all the supplies for various things. Planning around any extracurriculars, projects, field trips, jobs and work at home.

Expectation...
I would be infinitely patient and understanding and we would discover and learn these things together

Reality...
Boy, I wish. I love the days when this happens but have to say that it isn't anywhere close to everyday. I have to constantly fight myself to have that patience and understanding. To accept where he is and work from there. I was and am a perfectionist I found myself annoyed a week or so ago because he got some math problems wrong. I was thinking why aren't they all right? Why didn't he doublecheck himself and correct them, that is what I would have done(as generally he makes mistakes from going too fast). Then I stopped to think, is it realistic to think he will never make a mistake, seriously? That would be nice, but not likely.

However, this has obviously been a huge chance for me to grow. I am now thankful that Luke is not a boy genius. Besides the fact that it would bring a different set of challenges it was also another way for God to answer my prayers for humility. I think had my first been greatly advanced I would have likely attributed it to some greatness or skill on my part. I would have been tempted to think that those not as advanced just weren't doing things right. Now, I know better. I know that so much is inborn and we have to work with that. Now, with Lily coming up behind him and progressing at a much faster rate I find it really fascinating and exciting but I know it is not by my virtue or skill.

So, of course now I have the challenge to find those areas in which Luke excels and give him opportunities to grow continuing to push him in the areas that are had as well. I also have to keep mind that I will have to keep Lily challenged and engaged. I really do look forward to it though, although planning for the coming year is nothing short of daunting. It is a huge responsibility to be a parent, regardless of your children.