This is our first year of formal homeschooling. We started unofficially last year but it was fairly relaxed without any formal curriculum. It has all been fine and well, we are all thoroughly enjoying schooling, however that of course means I have less time for all my other duties. As it is now our day generally starts at 7am and we going and busy with various activities and such until 1p-2p.
I have looked over and over our schedule trying to figure out where I can cut back and free up some extra time to attend to everything else. However, as it stands there is really nothing that I feel should be cut out. We just have to figure out how to be more efficient with our time and energy.
I have realized very quickly that there are some adjustments that have got to be made. Part of this is in making sure things are organized in ways that leads to fast clean-up and another part is making sure we don't have excess things around for us to clean. I have spent a large chunk of time in the past few weeks going through the house and seeing where I could organize and what needed to go.
A large part of this however is in the delegation of tasks. Now, I have always been a HUGE proponent of making kids responsible and self-sufficient. Even before having our first child Brian and I knew we would have a large family(of course assuming no surprise infertility). Knowing this I have taken an interest in watching and reading about big families to figure out how everything gets done. It is obvious with more children there is more work to be done, more laundry, more dishes, more food to cook, more mess to pick up etc etc. All of this does not even take into account the more important duties of attending to the spiritual and emotional needs of those children. The mundane everyday tasks are enough to stay quite busy without even considering those things. That is another reason why it is even more vital to me that we work on making those everyday tasks flow smoothly, so we have time to attend to those import duties.
The things is with a small family it is perhaps easier for moms to take on the responsibility of doing everything themselves. It is faster and easier to just do it yourself, you want to make sure it gets done right and teaching children how to do things does take extra time. It takes patience to teach the children, it isn't always done just right and as we are often pressed for time and want desperately to just get it DONE. However, I think not only is it of course a help to mom when children are trained to help but I believe it also builds their self-esteem as well. We all take pride in a job well-done. We take pride in knowing that we are helpful to others, plus taking care of oneself and one's home and property are critical skills that we must teach our children, whether homeschooling or not. Our children should be able to experience that same pride. It is also interesting to read that children who are expected to complete chores at home are also more likely to end up serving others doing community and volunteer work. Not surprising for most of us however is the fact that the amount of chores that children do has continued to decline and is a fraction of what it was in past generations, despite the many benefits for children and family.
Now, knowing my rather strong feelings about children and chores doesn't change the fact that I am human. Perfect follow-through with anything is a challenge. The kids have various jobs and I think appropriately self-sufficient. What has been spotty though is what they help with around the house and when. I still have yet to decide what the best system will be for *our* family. Regardless I have been on the lookout lately as to what I can do to make things run smoother and easier for all of us.
I have tried a few times to make specific jobs to specific kids. I am sure this works well in many families, however I have not found that to be the case at our house, well not for all the jobs anyway. Specifically things like setting the table. I often plate our food before I serve it, so it hasn't made sense to keep that as a kid specific job. What has worked though is having the kids set the table with silverware and making sure that everyone's cup is filled. They often work together on these jobs, which of course is ideal, but of course theory is always easier than practice.
The big thing we have done in the last few weeks to ease the load on everyone is separate the kid's rooms. As it was they were sharing a bedroom. This worked well in the beginning and was a good transition, however we had gotten to the point that it was no longer working. They were not sleeping as well as they should and there were constant fights about who made what mess and who should clean what. This was further complicated by the fact that Luke at 6 is a lot more capable of help then Lily at 3.5.
So, although we hadn't planned to do it for awhile we went ahead and separated them. This is working well for a few reasons. Luke now has his own room with a place for everything, his toys, his clothes, books etc. and everything is at a height that he can reach. He also doesn't have Lily constantly into his belongings making messes. This means that he is now entirely responsible for his own room. He makes his bed, can hang and put away all his clothes, sweep, spot mop and put away his toys and books.
Lily at the age of 3.5 is not to the age of full responsibility for her room. However, since we have thinned out her toys and rearranged them she can manage keeping everything put away fairly well by herself. She now has a new dresser which has drawers at her height, this means she can put away most of her clothes herself as well(aside from her Church dresses which she cannot reach). She has a spot for her shoes and jackets as well, which we of course we made just right to her height. The big tasks that she cannot do quite yet is making the bed and sweeping the floor, however what she can do is such a big help.
The changes in their rooms have not only lightened my load and stress but they have thrilled them as well. It has been a win-win for everyone.
Back to the point of children and responsibility I have been working on orchestrating our tasks to flow a little more smoothly. As I said previously one of the challenges of having children help is the fact that it often does take more time. The organization comes into play by figuring out what the children are capable of and when to have them do it. Doing it all in a way so they have an age-appropriate amount of time to finish and I don't end up waiting for a task to be finished.
There really isn't a magic answer to any of this. No perfect formula as to what to assign each child or any one schedule that will work for everyone. The key I think is being mindful of what needs to be done, well before it needs to be done so it can be assigned early. Getting all this right is what really makes it work for you rather than against you. Of course all of my blathering doesn't mean I have everything figured out, hardly. As with anything with children the only constant is change. As the children age and we have more children our needs and their abilities will change. What one child is capable of, another has great difficulty, a task one relishes the other despises.
All of this why it is important as always to watch your own children. I always remember looking at all the chore lists for children and seeing folding washclothes listed as a 3 y.o. activity, now Luke never could do this job well. Lily however can do this easily and still despite their age difference can do it better than him. The difference is that she is alot more advanced in fine-motor skills than him, there was no forcing this earlier but more my job was to find tasks that he could do.
Knowing and acknowledging that every child is individual it has been helpful for me at various times to check out various lists for age-appropriate chores and evaluate where we are and where we are going.
For anyone else interested I found a few lists for age-appropriate chores:
http://www.chores-help-kids.com/age-appropriate-chores.html
http://housekeeping.about.com/od/chorechart1/a/ageapprchores.htm
For our house this is our current list of what each kid helps out with:
Luke(6):
Clean Room-
1)make bed
2) put away dirty and clean clothes
3)put away toys in appropriate place
4) sweep and mop as needed
Cooking-
1)peeling vegetables
2)helping measure and pour ingredients- stir and mix
3)scramble eggs
Laundry
1)Load dirty clothes in washer and clean clothes in dryer, assist in hanging clothes to dry
2)folding basic clothes
3)hanging his dress clothes
4)taking clothes to the appropriate room
Dishes
1)putting away dirty dishes after meal
2) helping set table
3) unloading reusable containers from dishwasher- those are non-breakable and stored where he can reach
Basic cleaning
1)rag dusting
2)spot mopping
3)washing toilets
4)washing floors
Lily
Room
1)put toys away in appropriate place
2) put clean clothes in correct drawer
3)put dirty clothes in hamper
4) help make bed
Cooking
1) Peeling vegetables
2) Cracking and mixing eggs - for baking or preparing to scramble
3)Helping measure, pour and stir
Dishes
1)Put away dirty dishes after meal
2)Helping set table with silverware and cups
3) Put away silverware from dishwasher- this is non-breakable and at a height she can reach
4) Help some with handwashing dishes
Basic Cleaning
1)Rag dusting
2) Spot mopping
3)Washing walls
4)Scrubbing toilets(she often starts the job and I will finish)
This is not to say they do all of these in any given day, although we try to clean our rooms at least once daily, so they do not get too much of a mess. However, these are jobs that they do at various times. My main goal is that everyone pitches in when there is work to be done so the jobs go faster and we have more time for all those fun things that we enjoy.
As an example this afternoon I needed to cook lunch, do dishes and laundry. Brian took over preparing us a simple lunch. I emptied most of the dishwasher while Lily put up the silverware and Luke the tupperware. While they were finishing that job I went on to fold diapers. While I put the diapers away the kids put the silverware and napkins on the table and filled our cups with water and Brian plated our meal. After lunch I had a load of clothes finish drying. I folded them quickly and as I finished each kid put their clothes away.
All of these things seem to work well for our family. I try to take advantage of that natural desire to help and be independent. Lily is in the midst of this period right now and is always hanging out in the kitchen wanting to help in some way. Luke has passed this stage but generally does his various jobs without fuss. The work is easier for everyone when we all work together.
I have also found that the more they help out the better they behave. If they have too much free time just to play or whatever else they can go a bit wonky, having a bit of a schedule, albeit a loose one, benefits everyone. All of this is not to say we don't have plenty of play time though- my goal is for them to have at least 2 hrs outside daily- of course some days I am begging them to come in to eat and others it is a challenge to find good outside time when the weather is crummy, like this current week with constant clouds, strong winds, mist, fog and chilly temperatures.
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